Effective Communication: Making the Move

Effective communication, at its core, is very collaborative. It takes patience, clarity, and empathy from all parties to have important conversations while maintaining a feeling of dignity and respect. And make no mistake, the decision to move into an assisted living facility or senior community is an important one! It can fundamentally change someone’s life, alter power-dynamics, and upset pre-established patterns of communication within families. In our experience, making the move is quite beneficial, but the fact is that change is hard – no matter how helpful that change may be. That’s why it is so important to practice effective communication techniques when talking about the decision to move.

Speak Calmly

 Talking about big issues like current health status, safety concerns, burden of care, affordability, functional limitations, social opportunities, location, etc. can be stressful. Go into these conversations with a clear head and calm heart. If the conversation gets too stressful or heated, it’s okay to take a break!

Provide Processing Time

Taking a break can allow people to think about what has been said and decide how they would like to respond rather than reacting out of pure emotion. Feelings should inform a decision, not make it outright. Talking about big issues can be very emotional, so remind yourself to treat each other with respect and dignity.

Be Respectful

Using patronizing, belittling, or derogatory language is not helpful. Remember that it is not a matter of “You vs Your Loved One”, but “Both of You vs The Problem”. It’s easy to forget that this discussion is born of love for your family member, but it is important to find your way back to that understanding.

The Science

In a study titled “Please listen to me”, 64.5% of seniors sampled (median age 85.5) showed a preference for staying in their own home rather than moving to some form of facility or community, but only 32.2% wound up doing so. Only half of the seniors who wanted to stay in their own home ended up staying, yet 90% of the study participants were happy with their choices. How could so many study participants who didn’t get what they initially wanted be so pleased with the end result? Because the seniors took an active and/or collaborative role in the decision-making process 93% of the time. When seniors and their support groups were able to collaborate, they were able to reach a decision that prioritized the health and wellness of all parties and led to an overall feeling of satisfaction [1].

If you or a loved one is starting to think about a move to an assisted living or senior community, keep in mind that seniors who are actively involved in making decisions about their lives see longer life expectancies, improved health and morale, greater satisfaction, and have an easier time adjusting to new situations. Remember to communicate calmly, respectfully, and for as long as you need; and if you find that the time is right to make the move, don’t hesitate to give us a call! Our Move In Specialist, Kathie Walker, would love to talk about how we can help!

Be joyful and live well!

1.Adekpedjou R, Stacey D, Brière N, Freitas A, Garvelink MM, Turcotte S, Menear M, Bourassa H, Fraser K, Durand PJ, Dumont S, Roy L, Légaré F. "Please listen to me": A cross-sectional study of experiences of seniors and their caregivers making housing decisions. PLoS One. 2018 Aug 30;13(8):e0202975. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0202975. PMID: 30161238; PMCID: PMC6117007.